There is no reason for this.

Let me preface this blog by saying I'm not crazy. Nor do I want to trap John Mayer in a forcefield and assume the title of John Mayer. I don't. So back off, FBI. Please?

John Mayer is my best friend.

Highly unlikely, you say. I obviously don't mean that we hang out or anything. We didn't share a bunk in 'Nam, and even though we've never met, John Mayer to me is like Jack Daniels to another person. He got me through some tough times. This is my diatribe on the person that Rolling Stone calls “Slowhand Jr.” John Mayer isn't even my Facebook or Myspace friend, but for some reason, he seems like the college roommate you wish you had (if you love music).

Before I go into it. I just want to say that if you listen to John Mayer for the songs that hit the radio, you're not going to get much out of this. This is for the other tracks on the CD. If I had my own radio station, you'd hear "In Repair," and "3x5" before you heard "No Such Thing." So before you tell me, "OMG Daughters is my favorite song EVAR!!!!1" I don't want to talk to you.
If you want to talk about the guitar fill-ins in Daughters, then grab a coffee, and let's talk.

So on that note, I want to talk about the three different types of John Mayer listeners. I hate one of them, I roughly ignore another, and I am the last type.

The first type is the casual listener. They hear John Mayer on the radio and they may even own a copy of Heavier Things for “Daughters.” This casual listener thinks that John is a clever guy with a poppy sound. They really don't see him as poignant or as relevant as Clapton was in the 70's, but they know that he can make you feel good. If you take a look at the songs that hit the radio from “No Such Thing” then “Why Georgia,” then “Daughters,” “Clarity,” finally to “Waiting on the World to Change.” All of these songs are easy listening, and I shudder, because my mom knows all of those songs. They hit her soft rock station. They hear the soft spoken, friendly John Mayer, and he fills their SUV's with a mellow vibe.

The second type is what I'd like to call “the 13 year old girl.” This is what pisses me off the most. I really wish N'Sync could get their crap together and take this demographic back. These girls don't have enough life experience to understand anything he says. And it's this fanbase that gives John a bad rap. This, however, is the same fan base that gives John his much needed cash. But at least John is doing something that Blink 182 couldn't do. John is getting them out of their comfort zone. He's teaching Brittany and Mackenzie about a movement called “The Blues.” It's hard to believe that a 13 year old girl with an iPhone and a trust fund can understand The Blues, but they'll at least know what it is. One day when their first boyfriend breaks up with them, or they grow up enough to do some heartbreaking on their own, they'll realize the meaning of some of his lyrics.

The third type of John Mayer listener is who I call the Appreciator. This person is a fan of music, of old music, and how it progresses into today's music. They listen to John Mayer and see the progression of a creative, complicated guitar player mature into a full-bodied Blues player. They know that "City Love" in Room for Squares would foreshadow the singer/guitar player he really was. They realize that Room for Squares shows the easy-going side of Mayer, but they know the album is more the exception than the rule when it comes to his music. The Appreciator can spot themes in his music that says "Oh, I absolutely know what that Something Missing really is."

This is my prelude to what I'll be talking about in this blog. I want you to talk with me. This is an exposition into his work.

So, it's time to do your homework. I'll see you on the flipside.